Inspiration

I still am not feeling the pull to write. I think it is because Gabe and I are waiting to hear about some big news, and it's hard to talk while holding your breath. So yes, lack of inspiration it is. In the meantime, here's another article about our hospice.

And.....

we're back! Long time, no blog. Nothing too much going on, but something POTENTIALLY going on, which is awakening my adventurous, impatient spirit. I can't say anything about it yet because I'm already getting my hopes way too high. But if anything manifests I will post it.

Boston has been 60 and drizzly for I-don't-know-how-long. I am drinking tea, curled in a blanket and feeling out of context. I vaguely remember a sunny day in the recent past. This summer is going to fly by once it finally gets here in July, and I'm crossing my fingers in advance that I won't be here for another winter.

We just opened up a hospice house and I thought I would write about my first patient there - a 4 year old girl. But I'm finding a need to protect her story. Perhaps when she is gone I will want to write a remembrance.

That's it, for now. I will seek some inspiration and won't be away so long this time.

I'm famous!

The article is here if you'd like to read it. They got some details wrong, but oh well.

Pride

Yesterday Gabe and I went to our first Boston Pride Parade. Though I'm sure it's nothing like San Francisco's, we had fun.

First we went to Jason and Ricky's (pictured, left) in Jamaica Plain and I managed to down a margarita before 11 a.m. Ricky put plum sugar on the rim and it reminds me SO much of something else...and I'm still bothered that I can't place it. (Plum sushi? No. Dentist flouride? Close. It's some candy from childhood I think. In any case, I did not like it.)

We then took the T to the parade route. As for the parade, I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Words

(It is my 100th post! I wanted to dress up the cats in festive gear and make a dialogue box with them congratulating me, but you can understand the difficulty in executing that vision.)

Instead, I'll celebrate words! All 1 million+ of them, according to The Global Language Monitor. I am not quite sure of the credibility, but it's still interesting. 'Web 2.0' beat out such words as defriend, financial tsunami, octomom (thank god), slumdog and recessionista to become the millionth word. At a million, English has the most words of any language. (There are about 200,000 in the standard dictionary - these million are derived purely from citations in worldwide literature, including the internet.)

An interesting tidbit from the website:

In Shakespeare’s day, there were only 2,000,000 speakers of English and fewer than 100,000 words. Shakespeare himself coined about 1,700 words. Thomas Jefferson invented about 200 words, and George W. Bush created a handful, the most prominent of which is, misunderestimate.

Shakespeare - how awesome is that guy? George Bush? Not so much.

Yesterday Gabe and I got up early (for a Saturday) and went to the Pride Parade - more on that in next post. On the way back to the T (subway) Gabe suggested we stop at the Boston Public Library in Copley Square. My dehydration and tiredness set in and I said I could only go if I took a brief nap on the lawn in front of Trinity Church. It was a wonderful mini-nap except for the sunburn. Then we went into the library - there are parts that are beautiful, like the stairway:




















There are parts that smell slightly reminiscent of urine, too. While in the basement we saw tucked into the corner an odd participatory art piece.

I'm embarrassed to say I haven't been to the library in years, probably. One of my last memories of a library is going to central square and pulling out a volume of poetry - flying out beside it was a plastic bottle of vodka. Maybe that put me off for a while. But generally I LOVE libraries - being surrounded by words, stories and thoughts. One of my favorite scenes in all of film is the library scene in Wings of Desire. So it was nice to be back in there, and I left with some Faulkner novels and a new author to me: A.B. Yehosua.

When I came downstairs this morning Gabe was on the couch reading this:


He was reading it because I told him a while back it's probably my most favorite novel. The story is horrible, but it's one of the best displays of an author's grasp of the English language. Nabokov is like a puppet master that can make words do ANYTHING. Gabe has been reading it off and on for a few months but really hasn't commented on it. He didn't seem particularly captivated by it, but I think he just had to finish it. So this morning he finally did. He put it down on the table with a sigh. What did you think??!! I ask. "That was gross." Though Gabe is perhaps not destined to be a literary critic I appreciate he plowed through nearly 300 pages of grossness since it's a favorite of mine.

After finishing the book Gabe made breakfast. I went out to help and saw this:

First, you might be able to see here how our gym time is paying off. Second, you can also see why we need to visit the gym so frequently: look at the pan. Gabriel is cooking salami in BUTTER! Yes it was good, but seriously, sweetie?! Sigh.

swimming, part 2

I got into the pool again and at first it was just as bad as last time. I was stuck because I really didn't know if I was supposed to be breathing out of my nose or my mouth. So I asked the hot guy in a speedo next to me for a little lesson (the details of this are falsified in order to get Gabe to come swimming with me next time). He told me to breath out of my mouth and showed me the basic stroke and when to breathe and how to hold my head. I did MUCH better then. However, my better was still only able to make it all the way across the pool one time without stopping. I did figure out the problem, and I know there is a solution. When my head is underwater I am constantly exhaling through my nose because I am worried about inhaling water. By the time I inhale above water I am gasping and inevitably swallow water. So I half-breathe in, and then underwater I exhale everything, and come up gasping even more... vicious cylce. Maybe I just need to practice hanging out underwater and realize I can simply hold my breath and be okay. Dunno.

I am considering doing a 5k this summer. I heartily dislike running, but I feel like I need some fitness goal. So a 5k and 2 laps in the pool without stopping! Also, my wedding is unbelievably less than 5 months away and I want to be in awesome shape. Gabe has been hanging out in the 'serious' weight room on the 3rd floor (he says it's like being in a cartoon with anthromorphic oxen) and I've definitely seen a difference - he's getting built! Maybe he'll let me post a pic of his guns sometime, and we can compare.

So the next post is technically my 100th. I was off because I looked at my own page, which includes the drafts, I suppose. I'll try to think of something a little special.

notice something different?

No, I didn't dye my hair. I went swimming! I've been at my gym 3 months, but I just got a bathing suit over the weekend. I also got goggles, which are key. I have had contacts for 17 or so years, and never any goggles. So my swimming always looks like this: dive underwater, 2 strokes with eyes closed, come back up and wipe the water off my eyes so my contacts don't fall out. Breathe. Repeat. I obviously haven't gotten the full experience. So I set off today with great anticipation. I could swim for laps and laps without interruption! I will unleash my true swimming potential!

Um. No. All my life I have greatly overestimated my swimming potential. First I got to the swimming pool and 2 people were in each lane. I had no idea if it was against etiquette to make it 3 in a lane. So I crouched down and waited. After a few minutes I panicked because I realized I was just sitting by the side of the pool staring at swimmers. I was an accidental creep! So I ran off to the sauna to buy some time. When I went back a class that had blocked off half the pool was over so I got in that side. This is when my dream shattered - I imagined pool water to be warm! Brrrr.... But I adjusted my goggles (see above) and proceeded to the wall. I dove in, swam underwater and I don't know what happened next but I came up flailing and gasping. I tried again and the same thing. This time I realized the problem - breathing. I wasn't doing it. I've always been able to breathe if I could see, and my brain/body was confused. So I approached it intellectually, mirroring my technique from what I saw of Michael Phelps in the Olympics. I knew to breathe on one side and keep my head down. How do people do this?! Totally counterintuitive to me, and I kept breathing in water and gasping. When I finally managed to get across the pool once without stopping I was exhausted. Wow. If anyone wants to be my personal swimming trainer please let me know. I need help.

When I came back from the gym I knew Gabe had been home. I could be a detective: here were my clues.





























I forgive him his trespasses for they are the same as mine :) (I secretly loved seeing rib bones left on the table - something very primitive and manly about that. Or a primitive pride of mine that he ate all the ribs I cooked slaving over the firepit...I mean crock pot. )

disaster

1580, from M.Fr. desastre (1564), from It. disastro "ill-starred," from dis- "away, without" + astro "star, planet," from L. astrum, from Gk. astron. The sense is astrological, of a calamity blamed on an unfavorable position of a planet.

My flight last week was hit by lightning, if you recall. I was flying at the same time as the Air France flight that went down. This past week I've been hyperaware of disasters. All the news is daycare fires, motorcycle crashes, murders, endless. How easy it could happen! How miraculous the monotony of today. Gabe put on Titanic Saturday night and I could barely get through it. I was overcome by anxiety and sadness.

Tomorrow I'm going to the gym and will try to go most every day, since I think it will help me get back in my body. I've only been once in June! I have however, been napping and eating a lot of cheese and ice cream :) Speaking of which, I piled up all the pants that no longer fit me so I can give them away. I'm left with shockingly few, but it's nice to have simplified things.

Natalie gave me the idea to do a special 100th post but it looks like I've already done 100 -wow! Guess I'll start planning for 200.

Nothing too much else to report. Lots of things are in flux, so hopefully I'll have some news when things land according to the stars.

A Shot at Redemption

Sometimes the universe works in mysterious ways. I mentioned that last week I did a horrible presentation to a new group in our new hospice house. It was REALLY bad. I was embarrassed and having some difficulty moving past it.

So I just now got a call to do the presentation again, for the same people, for an hour and a half (3x as long) tomorrow morning. No, not a lot of notice, and all my materials I could use are at work and not with me. I need to wake up wicked early and hopefully get some sleep tonight. But I'm very thankful for the second chance to really demonstrate the value of my work. And show my passion for it, instead of acting like a spaced out idiot :)

Wish me luck!

INFP

That's my Myers-Briggs. Seventy something questions and voila, there's my whole personality. I'm sure it identified these personality types are sometimes skeptical.

As I took the questions I thought I was contradicting myself. (Really, does someone have to be either emotional OR logical?? What about those people whose daily life is a battle between those two strong forces? By those people I am referring to me.) I also threw in some self-condemnation for not knowing myself as well as I thought, and look (!) a 'sense of failed competence' came up as a trait! My disdain for neat boxes aside, it actually was magically accurate, telling me all about my natural introversion (can work the crowd but it takes oodles of energy).... proclivity for language and story...other-worldliness balanced somewhat with people awareness...reliance on intuition...scholarly...sense of adventure... a 'healer'... and this was something very true I hadn't articulated to myself before - "patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details."

Here's the INFP profiles:
http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=healer
http://typelogic.com/infp.html

And here's the test if you'd like to take it (comment and share results!): http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

home sweet solid ground

I am not the 'earthiest' person around. Definitely not practical, a bit absent-minded, clumsy, I have no routine about anything, try as I might, and I always want to travel somewhere new. I love being in water, and I love to fly. So I had no trepidation on my fortuitously non-stop flight from San Francisco to Boston. A whole 6 hours where I couldn't be productive if I tried.. alone with my daydreams and music and books. For some reason I started out restless, not finding anything on the radio or tv, I couldn't focus on my book, and I couldn't sleep despite only getting a few hours the night before. I was in the window seat and I felt bad for making the couple move so I could pee three times. Towards Boston we hit a bit of turbulence which doesn't usually affect me emotionally or physically. But my tummy threw up an alarm signal. Deep breaths. Focus on one thing. But my mind was racing, I started dripping sweat and shaking. Lightning hit right outside my window, and we hit some more turbulence. Then my tummy just threw up. Those barf bags do come in handy!

It was SO.NICE. to be on solid ground. I just wanted to lay on the concrete outside the terminal. (Ugh, I've been in the city too long to think of solid ground as concrete.) I took a cab despite the expense, because there was no way I could manage the hour-long subway and bus ride home with all its stops and starts. Boston was recovering from the storm and the sun was just peeking out in the late afternoon. On the highway out of the city I looked back and saw a sky-wide rainbow, with Bunker Hill in the middle. I wish I could have gotten to my camera!

I purposely didn't nap yesterday and Gabe and I went to bed before 10. I thought I'd pass out but I got restless and tired-but-not-sleepy, and went off to work this morning with two and a half hours of sleep. I left a bit early today to nap and get my body back to normal. It is 70 and sunny and I just might throw a towel out on our mini-yard and say a thank you to the solid ground.