19 weeks!

19 weeks and baby and mama are both doing well.  Baby girl is around 6 inches  (crown to rump) and she weighed 8 oz. on Tuesday, so maybe around 9 oz. now? All I know is my appetite is way up this past week.  I'm sure I'd be putting on more weight if it wasn't 100 degrees every day and if magically someone else grocery shopped and cooked all day long.

An amazing thing happened yesterday. I've been tired more, probably due to heat and some grumpiness, and I passed out on the couch for two hours. I was lying on my right side the whole time. When I woke up, I moved to my back and all of a sudden a huge THUMP on my lower right. Apparently baby girl wasn't too happy about her relocation. I looked down and another big kick - this time I saw my belly move!  I called Gabe over and he felt two strong kicks. The look on his face was pure awe and happiness. 

We're still getting used to the idea that she is in fact a she. I also have to stop browsing the internet for the approximately 80 million adorable apparel items made for little girls. And how am I supposed to pick out crib bedding with all the beautiful possibilities?  (And does anyone know how hard it would be to make your own?)

Time is going faster now that the ultrasound is over. Usually each week it's a countdown to Sunday, like an advent calendar. But today it caught me off guard: whoa, it's 19 weeks!  And that means I'm nearly half way. And that means I am realizing more and more that one day this baby will have to come out!  I am terrified and excited in equal measure.

I'm giving birth at the nearby birth center attended by midwives. (Picture a bed and breakfast with lots of technical stuff hidden in nice cabinets. So different than the hospital!)  There is a big tub and I'd like to try a water birth (knowing there's only so much you can plan). Gabe and I are also signing up for a Hypnobabies childbirth class. This will help the terrified part of my mind relax and let my body do what it needs to do, and I think will best help me reach my goal of an unmedicated natural birth. There are lots of great hypnobabies birth stories online or on youtube if you're interested.

Since my belly looks the same as last week I thought I'd change it up and post a front angle:

It's a little baby...

GIRL!!!!!   My dad and stepmom were there with us at the ultrasound and rooting so strongly for a girl they worried their blue underwear may jinx it. Everyone felt girl vibes. It just seemed so many people thought it would be a girl, that it just had to be a boy. But GIRL!!!  I can hardly believe it. 

The ultrasound was amazing. We saw her kick, make a fist, wave, open her tiny mouth and scrunch up. At first her face looked like Skeletor and it was honestly quite creepy. Her profile was adorable, though, and she looked like a little person there. The best part is that everything measured and looked great - the doctor had no concerns at all. 

It all has yet to sink in fully. My husband looked in shock at first and I could see him processing in his head all future teenage worries. I think the first real sense of responsibility and protectiveness is setting in. He made some comments about keeping her off the pole :) But after a few hours he started dancing around saying 'oh my god, we're having a daughter!'  

I'm so thrilled. I'm so excited to see what she'll look like and who she'll be. I can't wait to see my husband holding his little girl. I can't wait to buy cute dresses. I can't wait to make a playlist and play it for her in the womb. I can't wait to name her. 

This is pretty much the most awesome day ever :)  Now we hurry up and wait 5 months to say hello...

a pregnancy milestone

I mentioned earlier the allergies. That means a lot of sneezing. Earlier this week I was walking around the house, let out a big sneeze and said oh my goodness, I just peed myself. I thought that only happened the last month of pregnancy or something! What?! My body was just all sorts of out of whack this week.

Last night my husband reached over to hug and cuddle, and I said no no I need some space right now, I'm not feeling well. He laughingly said 'well, seeing as how you pee when you sneeze and puke when you cough, that's probably a good idea.'

Ah, the joys of pregnancy.

Week 18

This past week has been a bit rough. I've had wicked bad allergies all week, so I'm constantly scratching my eyeballs, blowing my nose and hacking out a lung. It hasn't helped that it's been so hot that I've had to stay inside with the A/C on - I feel trapped inside with a bunch of allergens. Or are the allergens outside? Don't know. Then Wednesday and Thursday I had a stomach bug of some sort. No fun. Yesterday I coughed so violently for so long I threw up all over the floor. And I've had this recurring sciatica or something so yesterday I couldn't really walk either.  I'm calling the doctor tomorrow but it seems more a serious of unfortunate events than anything else. 

Baby is now measuring about 5 1/2 inches crown to rump and is about 7 oz. He or she is in the midst of a growth spurt. And while I thought my belly went down,  looking at the picture both my husband and I said wow. My scale jumped 4 lbs. in one day but I'm pretty sure that's due to a now-unstuck needle on our piece of crap $5 scale than any real weight gain.

Today's belly pic:

There are no curtains in the background because my puppy bit them and then ran in the opposite direction, pulling out the curtain rod and making a big hole in the wall. Nice. We'll have to take it out of his allowance when we lose our security deposit. The mess on the floor is because my husband is busy inventing a new type of transmission. He designed it, laser cut pieces, got some hardware and assembled it. I don't even think I honestly know how a gear works. I was in the hardware store looking through all the hardware and snickering at the names of of different nuts and ball joints.  My maturity sinks to that level when really, really bored. And this is what he does in his spare time.  Sometimes it's like living with an alien. A really intelligent alien. 

Speaking of aliens, we get to find out if our little alien is of the female or male variety in just two days. When I wake up tomorrow it will be tomorrow. Please send good vibes that baby cooperates and shows us its stuff. I'm so completely thrilled if its a boy, and so completely thrilled if its a girl, for different reasons. I still have no real intuition about it. Both my sister dreamed this past week we had a baby girl with blond hair. Gabe dreamed that we had a baby and everyone assumed girl... when we finally checked a couple weeks later we realized it was a boy!   I had a dream I was trying to breastfeed our infant while my husband went off to have an orgy with friends and hookers (I woke up so mad!!). Then I had a horrible dream about a vampire warrior who was about to kill half my group based on a combination of our IQ and our life goals. Sometimes dreams don't mean a thing.

Tonight I made some nursery art - I'll post some pictures soon. And we celebrated Father's Day - I got Gabe some onesies (well you know what I mean) that I'll post too.  Over lunch I was telling him how happy I was that my baby was going to have such an amazing dad. I asked him if he had any worries about his impending fatherhood, anything he was worried he wouldn't be able to do and he said 'yes, everything.' He did appreciate my vote of confidence though :)

Here's my clothed belly, pic taken at 17 weeks, 2 days. I think some of it is a food baby:

17 weeks!

The baby is now about 5 inches crown to rump and 5 oz. (like a quarter pounder with cheese). Big enough for me to feel a kick!! I've been thinking I've been feeling some movement this past week but today I was sitting on the couch and felt definite kicks or punches or something. Still light, but unmistakable. So exciting! I can't wait until they're stronger and more frequent, and for Gabe to be able to feel them from the outside. He's quite disappointed I got to feel kicks before he did ;-)  (I think he's going to be a very involved father!)

I'm also happy because I didn't have a mental breakdown or dissociative episode. When I first got pregnant I remember thinking how WEIRD it must be to have something grow inside you and then one day you FEEL it squirming in there. I envisioned that scene from Alien or Aliens. I mean, didn't people just lose their grip on reality when they've magically made a creature that LIVES inside them??

But I guess I've had a number of weeks to get used to the idea and to anticipate it. And it was amazing and awesome! Not even vaguely sci-fi :)  This pregnancy has become so real this past week. A couple days ago I was listening to George Strait's 'I Wanna Dance with You' and started dancing around the house (hey, it was more fun than cleaning). Then I held my belly and it was like dancing with the baby. Then I realized in five months there will actually be a baby to hold and dance with. It's starting to sink in. And in just nine days I find out if I'll be dancing with my son or my daughter. Exciting!

This week's belly pic:

this post is brought to you by the letter V

First, through a relatively pain-free DMV session I am now the proud owner of NC license plates, 10 1/2 months later. 

Second, I was driving today around 11 a.m. and took note of the car in front of me while at a red light. There were three distinctive bumper stickers. Then around 3:30 p.m. I see the same bumper stickers in the same configuration: I was driving behind the same person!  Hours later, about 12 miles away! I thought this the oddest thing, and then realized this probably happens much more frequently then we're all aware. It reminded me of something my mom said when I first started driving. Being a typical teenager I was self-conscious everywhere, apparently even behind the wheel of a car. I remember asking her something about what do you do if you see someone you know in another car, or isn't a strange to see so many people everyday. I remember my mom saying 'I think of them as cars, not people.' I thought that was so odd then, but now that I've been driving nearly half of my life it seems odd to think of cars as people. My point being that I wouldn't be too surprised to see the same people if I walked around a town a lot, so it shouldn't be that surprising to see their cars too. 

Third, since August I have lived in an Apartment V.  Countless times I have given my address to people in person or over the phone, and invariably - as in without one exception - people say 'V as in Victor?'  Always. Victor should be proud, it has emerged victorious, ha ha. But today in the DMV I had an almost uncontrollable urge to reply 'No, V as in (something else)'. Something silly like V as in vroom, or V as in vacuum. Or something inappropriately polysyllabic like V as in verisimilitude or V as in vermillion. And then of course I thought of this in the DMV line and giggled out loud.... and I swear just once before I move out of Apt. V in 6 weeks I will say to someone 'Apt. V, V as in vagina'. Or venereal. Just to shake things up a bit.

a dream

 I got a visit from my spanish-speaking hippie midwife last night. Here was my dream:

My aunt's house was on fire and this happens all the time. Thankfully it burned out quickly. I go to the bathroom mirror and lose my front tooth. A state of panic ensues, and when I leave the bathroom I am now in a hotel in a Spanish-speaking country. It's a family reunion with a bunch of people I don't know and I hail a taxi with someone. I tell them I need to go to the hospital right away. It is taking a long time and in my broken spanish I ask how much longer. She tells me she can only get reimbursed at certain hospitals, and is driving to one half an hour away because there is free internet outside and she can start up her internet business. I'm horrified - I need to get there now! I ask where the closest one is anyone and she says, oh right over there. I hop out of the cab without paying and my faceless family member joins me. I ask in spanish: donde esta el hospital? A group of touristy diners point me in a direction.

I run over there, now having lost my partner, and only see some shacks. One has a reptile menagerie outside - lizards, alligators, snakes, etc. Just as I think that I've happened upon a vet, a lady walks out. She looks hippie-ish and seems to already know me. I'm very comfortable around her and when I point to my tooth she nods like she's been expecting me. She brings me into a foyer that looks like where you would get your fortune told. She brings out black thread and stitches my tooth back where it belongs. But then she leads me to stand up and she lifts up my shirt. I realize she's my midwife and she's examining my pregnancy so far. I look down and see that I have two belly buttons! She explains that it's really just things being rearranged and it will go away soon. She says the baby is healthy. She pokes and prods in my abdomen and looks me in the eye: you will have a girl. (As soon as the aware part of me thinks - aha! a prophetic dream) she then says: well, you will have a girl soon. I ask her what she means but she doesn't say anything else.

In REAL news, my prenatal appt. went great and we heard the little one's strong heartbeat right away. I've also gained 2 pounds! I've been told my face looks bigger, my boobs are bigger, my butt has expanded, and I definitely have a belly so that 2 pounds must really get around somehow  :)  11 days til the ultrasound!  I'm nearly certain I've felt the baby wriggling around in there and I want to see it match up to the screen for confirmation.

Conan meets the ocean

This past weekend was Conan's first road trip. He slept four hours in the car and did awesome! We were so proud. We visited my dad & stepmom and he had one accident in the house and nibbled on a wooden chair (bad dog!). But besides that stuff, and an obsession with teddy bears, he was great. It was also his first trip to the ocean. He was a little freaked out by the noise of the waves, but got up his courage when both Gabe and I were in the water. Here are some pictures of our beach bum:

And here is a picture of the four of us! Nobody likes their first-of-the-season picture of them at the shore, pregnant or not, so shush!

16 weeks (+ 2 days)

I apologize this pregnancy update is late. On Sunday I was busy driving back from SC and getting stopped by a cop. Yes, see the blog entry two posts ago that totally jinxed me. Grrr!!  I am so not a speeder either. But it went from 55 to 25 and a cop was waiting right after the sign. I slowed anyway, saw the cop and slowed further, and then my stupid ass turned around after the town to go back and get a milkshake. That is when we got pulled over. I didn't realize speeding tickets cost $200. And to make matters really worse, apparently my registration is not current in MA - which hopefully is a glitch that is fixable and won't cost another $300. See previous post, too, to see how I was getting my NC registration this week. Did I mention Grrrr!!!!

After the incident I was trying not to feel angry at myself and mopey, when I spotted a lost dog in the median on 95. This is the sort of thing that breaks my heart. Polar bears running out of ice, oil-soaked pelicans, dogs lost or in dogfights...seriously, is there an animal that isn't tragic?  I called the cops, who transferred me to animal control who said they'd go find him. I really didn't need the call an hour later to say they didn't find him. Just let me hope.  Anyway, it was a bad day and belly pics weren't high on the agenda. 

But 16 weeks, here we are. I physically feel pretty dang good. I think I have sciatica, though, or some some of lower back issue that I need to have checked out. I'm still not gaining weight. But I feel good. Here's the pic:

The baby is about 4.5" plus legs, and weighs about 3.5 ounces. About the size of an avocado, which is remarkable when you realize the uterus starts out just the size of an avocado pit. The little heart pumps 25 quarts of blood a day. Its eyes and ears are in just the right place, and the body growth is catching up to the head. 

Tomorrow I have a prenatal appt. and Gabe is coming along to hear the heartbeat. And in exactly two weeks is our big ultrasound! I'm back to thinking it's a little girl, but I think this is because I spent too much time ooohing and aaahing over the cutest little dresses at the Carter's outlet in SC.

Two other developments: right after this belly picture was taken Gabe rubbed my belly and gave a little gasp. My belly button has started popping out! I so wasn't expecting that this early. There's a little ridge along the top which is freaking me out. My other news is that I'm pretty sure I'm feeling the baby move! I think. I've felt these weird movements a few times, but dismissed them because it's really easy to, and it's still early. But yesterday I distinctly felt little thumps like popcorn popping a couple times during the day. Hmmm... 

Here's what I look like to the rest of the world right now:

 I think I'm wearing the same shirt as in a previous week for comparison.  My belly is just at the point where I don't sleep on my tummy anymore. And when in a chair I usually have my knee tucked into my chest, and that's become logistically more difficult. I can't complain though - keep growing little one!