Tuesday, February 24, 2009

marriage advice

I am posting yet again because I'm waiting for Gabe to come home so we can get to the gym. It's 8:30 and I'm starting to think that perhaps this resolution will have to begin tomorrow.

This morning I co-facilitated a wonderful group - it was around issues of aging and there was a group of 10 or so ladies who were in their 70s or 80s I'd say. We did some guided imagery and art and everyone was so creative and just wonderful. Near the end we read a quote by Madeleine L'Engle: "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." We went through different ages: 5, 10, 20, 30, etc. and people reminisced. At "30" I noticed everyone in the room smile. They all said it was a great time - you are older and know yourself better, but are still young. A few called it the best age. I suddenly felt so blessed by these women, somehow. They gave me such appreciation for this time in my life. I often feel so overwhelmed with work and finances and making a nice home and marriage planning, etc. And it was this moment of awareness that this time is one of great transformation but it is exciting and special and not a burden. Thanks old ladies! I hope I gave them something in return.

Oh, and the title of the post. We drew an image of 'peace' and I made an image of a peaceful wedding as an antidote to my anxieties about it. I shared it with the group, and one lady said, "Oh, you're getting married? I have one piece of advice for you, and the only one you need to know: just keep your mouth shut at all times, and you'll be fine."

Hmm..... that would be impossible. Plus Gabe has dealt with a fair share of my sometimes mouthy opinionated self and he seems okay. But note that she has been married over 60 years!

1 comment:

  1. i think that "keep your mouth shut at all times" WORKS, but that it's not necessarily fair, etc. what a weird piece of advice.

    all those women smiling about hitting 30 are really talking about "hitting their stride". isn't that the 21st century 35-40? i'm going to guess (could be wrong) that they got married early in their 20s and already built a solid foundation by 30. so "30", to them, was time to be an adult and raise kids and enjoy being past the high drama of being young. i don't think we're supposed to feel that for a few more years.



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