Sunday, April 25, 2010

Happy fetus day!

Today is 10 weeks! This is big news for a few reasons. First it's double digits. Second, all the baby's parts and functions are there - like the blueprint is laid out - the next 30 weeks are for growing and refining. Third, little embryo has now earned the title of fetus. This is one of the worst English words I can think of, but I'm still proud. Here's a picture of how baby looks right now (to the right):

He or she is about 1 1/4 inches crown to rump, and is getting little fingernails on its non-webbed-anymore fingers and toes. If the brain looks big to you, it is. Baby has been making 250,000 neurons PER MINUTE this past week - isn't that unbelievable? I can't think of anything right now so amazing or so tiny. 

My uterus has apparently grown from the size of an avocado pit to a small canteloupe/large grapefruit. Though no one would realize I'm pregnant, and no one seems to even notice my little extra around the middle, I can certainly tell. Just ask any of my pants with buttons. I haven't really gained too much weight but I'm definitely not a size zero waist any longer. We took a belly pic's not a great pic with the shadow but you get the idea:

Another thing about 10 weeks... I think I'm finally just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The past five weeks have been an onslaught of lots of yucky symptoms and utter exhaustion. For a few days this week I didn't need a nap. (Excepting yesterday and today, because suddenly I'm not sleeping til 4 a.m. despite the exhaustion - ugh.) I also don't start feeling too nauseous until closer to late afternoon, instead of all day. Yay!

The downside to this is that I convinced myself I was fine again and tried to do too many things, and then got depressed when I became a tired, sick mess. I am so frustrated, but I know it can't last much longer than a few more weeks. (If you had extended morning sickness please don't leave a comment! I'm still in happy denial of this possibility!)  I really really miss cooking. I really really miss having a clean house. I really miss just eating when hungry vs. nearly collapsing in tears because I'm nauseous and starving and have heartburn and feel weak and can't think of anything to stomach right now.

And my poor husband. He has been so awesome throughout the pregnancy so far, but I think his patience is wearing just as much as mine is. He'll happily run to the store and get chicken when I fall into a weak stupor and know that I need more protein. Or wash sheets when my extra keen sense of smell says something is weird. But he is not used to doing all the cooking, and we're eating take-out too much or having thrown together meals. He's also not used to doing all the cleaning, or most, and the state of things in our home is threatening to make me into a cartoon of a hormonal raging pregnant lady. Note to partners of pregnant ladies everywhere: when you're sick, tired, upset pregnant lady complains that on top of everything she's now got insomnia, NEVER respond by stating: Well, why don't you just clean the house if you can't sleep anyway?

I do realize in my post 1 1/2 weeks ago I said how can I possibly complain, we're having a baby. I suppose I found a way to complain, but I still haven't lost sight of the big picture. A baby is on the way!

Oh, which reminds me of something new I feel guilty about. I've been having non-stop dreams about birthing, and breastfeeding, and ultrasounds and babies everywhere. I woke up this morning after a particularly weird, intense dream and thought all day how I just want to not think of baby anything for a week. It's all in my thoughts, all in my dreams, and is causing  vague anxiety. Thinking about where we'll move, what a nursery will be like, registries, finances, how it affects my working, where to have the baby.... on and on.  It's like a train hurtling ahead no matter what for 30 more weeks. I just need stall the baby momentum for a bit and chill. But then of course just that very thought makes me feel like a terrible mother before I'm even a mother. There's no stopping any baby train, the creature will grow and grow and be here and then it won't be leaving :)  I suppose I just need a little more time to adjust.

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