So far I've survived this pregnancy with little of the mood swings, random crying and horrible feelings of victimization that I've heard others have. (Gabriel, you are not allowed to think or comment, otherwise ;-)
But lately I've felt twinges of irrationality. I can totally identify it as loony, but it still feels real. It's like when I had a dream that Gabe did something really devastating and I woke up with a grudge.
Yesterday we went back and forth about buying an iPod Touch. We want something to record video of our little one and after researching it he thought this was the best option. I asked a few questions to know the cost, make sure he's comparison shopped, to know what it's capable of, etc. and gave the all clear for the late-night online purchase.
So today I am nearby while he watches a review of the iThingy. It mentions there is no auto-focus. Alarmed, I ask what are the implications of that. He says it's fine, it's just not so clear up close, like 3 feet or less. He says this nonchalantly, as I almost burst into tears. Distraught, I thought and said, I think in this order:
- What?? How could you buy something without auto-focus?
- You don't even want to take close-up pictures of our baby?!!!
- You don't even care about taking video of our baby.
- You don't even want to see our baby close up, what's wrong with you?
- You're probably just selfish and bought the thing for the stupid apps, I knew it.
Then I laughed, because I KNOW all that is ridiculous. I KNOW that but I also equally knew that our baby was slighted because of lack of autofocus. As a weird steam-coming-out-of-ears compromise between irrationality and logic, I carefully tried to explain that the baby can't sit up on her own right away so we'd have to be close to her to hold her up and film her, thus rendering autofocus essential.
Then I laughed again, because my brain is obviously broken. (And I'm sure the iPod Touch will suit our needs just fine.)
In other news of brain dysfunction, I went to client's home for probably the 35th time today. I could drive there in my sleep. But not awake and pregnant, apparently. I went miles past my turn before I realized things were unfamiliar. I finally got myself turned around and then drove right past their house. I was 20 minutes late, and they were a 20 minute drive away. When leaving I also turned the wrong way twice. Perhaps I need more sleep.