I finally went to the doctor today and apparently I have an issue with my lacrimal duct due to allergies. My allergies are probably worse due to being cooped up in the house and possibly our new heating system... and Daphne's preferred sleeping area. My left nostril is also bloody and swollen, to go along with my broken left eye. She prescribed me the most expensive eyedrops known to mankind, and Daphne is ordered off my pillow - cat dander is one of the most insidious allergens, since the molecules are so small (learned that today). I don't know how to break the news to her.
After the doctor I went to Whole Foods for two hours. I only got 2 1/2 bags of food. Supermarkets (good ones) put me in a trance. It's almost a meditation practice for me because I am so present to everything. It's one of the rare times my mind stops its worries and deliberations and fantasies. I can concentrate on the vegetables I've never eaten, the color of oranges, the endless combinations that could be tonight's dinner. The steadiness of my footfalls, the squeak of the cart. The comraderie of two women searching for the perfect potatoes. I lose myself, in the best of ways.
This didn't strike me as odd until I said it out loud a few weeks ago. I didn't even articulate it well for myself before then. Perhaps it has something to do with my lineage :) My mom worked in a supermarket until her second life as a therapist. And my dad worked in a supermarket his entire working life until 4 days ago when he retired for his new life in South Carolina. Mind you, I don't need to work there. I'm just happy to roam the halls a few times a week and imagine possibilities.
Addendum: Maybe I lied a bit about being fully present. Because sometimes I do imagine myself not in Boston, but somewhere in northern California where you can grow things ALL YEAR. And I would be at a farmer's market getting things that have come off a farm that day. It's sunny and I feel totally confident about my culinary prowess and I find the best things to come home with, and make my family an awesome meal. With herbs from my own garden :)